Playing with fire.

The heaviness of my heart just keeps weighing me down. 

At this point, I’m numb. 

I feel used, drained, & dead. 

I feel like you scooped me up, made me feel beautiful and then released me. 

Releasing me to the ugliness of the world. 

Where they spat on me. 

Where they made me feel the loneliness of being released. 

You’ve been gone with no way of contacting you. 

It huuurts. 

It’s like you painted a beautiful picture of me and then set it on fire right before my eyes. 

Before setting it on fire,

You showed me how beautiful every piece of me was. 

You told me I was worth every painful feeling. 

You showed me your world. 

The fire in your eyes burned for something much more beautiful than me. 

More passionate than me. 

More lustful than me. 

More mesmerizing than me. 

Running with scissors you went and tore me down. 

Left me single handily lost. 

Left me with nothing. 

Left me with the thought of you coming back. 

Left me with the though of you hurting me. 

Left me with shattered pieces. 

Burned the painting just to prove yourself. 

Proving you weren’t going to love and let be loved.  

You used me, to build you up. 

While you tore me down. 

Now here I am. 

Torn between loving myself and leaving myself stranded in that same place. 

I felt the world at the palm of my hand as if you handed it to me. 

I felt the world melt in my hands as I watched you leave, 

Again. 

I’ve seen you at the worst point in your life and I still thought you were the best. 

I seen you at your best and knew that you had it. 

You had it all. 

You’ve had it all along. 

I knew you could do it. 

I’m so happy you’ve done it. 

I was your biggest fan. 

Too bad you dragged me into your darkness and left me there to burn, 

As you rose and became everything you’ve always wanted.